I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
