What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He shit in the fireplace
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
