He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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