Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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