My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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