I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
