Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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