I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
