Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
