When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
