I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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