My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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