Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
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Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
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WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.