THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit