I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
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No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.