Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.

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  (732): soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm. http://tfl.nu/dqxm
  Replies (12) Good night (4388) Bad night (814)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.

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  (512): Too many people are naked here for this to be normal. http://tfl.nu/s42o
  Replies (20) Good night (6009) Bad night (1091)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?

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  (250): How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time? http://tfl.nu/zyvh
  Replies (30) Good night (5542) Bad night (1873)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.

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  (678): We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward. http://tfl.nu/10ml
  Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (2305)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.

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  (770): good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed. http://tfl.nu/g7ri
  Replies (4) Good night (2712) Bad night (759)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice

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  (908): I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice http://tfl.nu/gs1d
  Replies (6) Good night (1255) Bad night (1800)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.

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  (+44): It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals. http://tfl.nu/whom
  Replies (11) Good night (1665) Bad night (521)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!

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  (716): Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it! http://tfl.nu/wiz3
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (507)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.

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  (239): Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance. http://tfl.nu/mqe0
  Replies (10) Good night (899) Bad night (492)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday

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  (301): This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/hzvp
  Replies (7) Good night (1053) Bad night (590)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.

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  (610): Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls. http://tfl.nu/zc4i
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (591)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

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  (850): Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore. http://tfl.nu/g2ed
  Replies (2) Good night (296) Bad night (569)
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  (818): View more from California

  She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.

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  (818): She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink. http://tfl.nu/8b21
  Replies (5) Good night (290) Bad night (644)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

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  (412): Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts. http://tfl.nu/nvqi
  Replies (3) Good night (386) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.

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  (310): Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley. http://tfl.nu/mbvo
  Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (570)

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