I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this boner is exhausting
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
