the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
