I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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