I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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