Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
