my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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