her vagine was all disorganized.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
