come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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