I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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