I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
