If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
