Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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