just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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