come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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