so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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