sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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