"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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