I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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