Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
