I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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