Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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