But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
be right there i have to get my cape
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
