She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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