Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
