She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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