Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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