I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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