He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
