then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
