you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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