I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
