belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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