carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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