Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
