I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
