Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Randomize
