k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize