all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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