also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
