The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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