And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
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Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
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Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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