you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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