Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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