great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
