I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
