i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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