my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm really busy with my period
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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