ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
