I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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