google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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