Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
