...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
