Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
