I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
