Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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